Constance, a comedian with bipolar disorder: "I almost died, so now I do what I want."

Actress and comedian Constance has chosen to recount her psychiatric journey on stage. In Inconstance , a show that constantly shifts between laughter and tears, she revisits the long process of accepting her bipolar disorder and her winding medical path. For Le Monde , Constance explains how she was able to return to her profession and manage her disability and professional life.

I was working like crazy. I was embarking on a major 80-date tour. I didn't want to give up work. When you're a comedian, it's already hard enough to get any. Losing it was a disaster. Comedians take years to find a producer, to build a reputation. It was heartbreaking to have worked so hard and for it all to be over. I'd ruined everything, screwed it all up, it was terrible. Not being able to cope with being out of the game contributed a lot to the suicidal ideation.

It's like life. There are wonderful people who genuinely feel for you, others who are awful and rejoice when you fall apart, still others who are ready to lend a hand, and finally, those who are terrified of the illness. I received very little support. People brush you aside, erase you. I didn't hear a word from the tour manager I was working with before I fell into depression. But I was lucky enough to have Charline Vanhoenacker [Constance was a commentator on her show] . She told me, "It will take as long as it takes, we'll keep your spot for you." She was extraordinary.

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